My big question to life is, What stops me from doing the things that would make my life happier and healthier and more fulfilling? It has been a long time since I have ever gone over a month without wine and man it feel great. I think my body is finally resetting itself and I really feel like the fog has lifted. I have to say that it is only in hindsight that I realise how much adapting my body has had to do. You often don't realise how bad it was until you are out of it and into somewhere good. It took a little time but oh my goodness I feel so great and comfortable now. I am revelling in the FREEDOM and I am loving my sobriety.
One big question I am wondering about is why didn't I do it sooner? Lately I have been faced with many light bulb moments, big slaps of "see that wasn't so hard, was it?". It is like you know what you need to be doing or what has to be done in order for things to be better but I wasn't doing them and now I am doing them I wonder why it took me so long. I am a smart, intelligent woman but man I can be pretty stupid. My husband has been hassling me over and over again to clear out the clutter in my office, I knew it needed to be done but I would come up with all kinds of reasons not to do, not procrastinating but rationalising why everything that was in there needed to be there. So for the past 4 years it had become and big mess. For some reason, even though I knew life would be easier if I did it I just couldn't complete it the way it needed to be done. So yesterday I took on the mission, with so much clarity I was a woman on a mission. 8 hours later everything is out of there, most thrown away and the only things in there are things I will need in the next month. I feel so FREEEEEEE. I have finally done what needed to be done.
There is certainly a correlation between this and my alcohol habit. For two years I was trying to get it out of my life but I kept holding on to it with so many rationalisations as to why it could be in my life. How wrong I was. I guess there is little point wondering why it has taken me so long to get out of my rut. I need to celebrate where I am here and now and continue to do all the obviously beneficial things for me and my family NOW. It is all we have.
After thought. I am reminded of something... The teacher will come when the student is ready. I am now READY.
One big question I am wondering about is why didn't I do it sooner? Lately I have been faced with many light bulb moments, big slaps of "see that wasn't so hard, was it?". It is like you know what you need to be doing or what has to be done in order for things to be better but I wasn't doing them and now I am doing them I wonder why it took me so long. I am a smart, intelligent woman but man I can be pretty stupid. My husband has been hassling me over and over again to clear out the clutter in my office, I knew it needed to be done but I would come up with all kinds of reasons not to do, not procrastinating but rationalising why everything that was in there needed to be there. So for the past 4 years it had become and big mess. For some reason, even though I knew life would be easier if I did it I just couldn't complete it the way it needed to be done. So yesterday I took on the mission, with so much clarity I was a woman on a mission. 8 hours later everything is out of there, most thrown away and the only things in there are things I will need in the next month. I feel so FREEEEEEE. I have finally done what needed to be done.
There is certainly a correlation between this and my alcohol habit. For two years I was trying to get it out of my life but I kept holding on to it with so many rationalisations as to why it could be in my life. How wrong I was. I guess there is little point wondering why it has taken me so long to get out of my rut. I need to celebrate where I am here and now and continue to do all the obviously beneficial things for me and my family NOW. It is all we have.
After thought. I am reminded of something... The teacher will come when the student is ready. I am now READY.
