Doing it~~~~

I think I have finally had my epiphany moment everyone. At the beginning I thought all was great for me because I wanted change for me to come from a good and positive place. I told a white lie to myself because... It wasn't really great, it was okish. Okay it wasn't even okish. But.,,,,,, I am starting to feel like me again and I like it! Now all is much greater!!!! Okay yes I am soooooo close to the goal weight I set for myself and that is an achievement in itself (YAY) but I feel like this is the first time I have ever lost my weight and really, truly believed I am not going to let it creep up on me again.

There is no way to healthiness because being healthy is the way.

I want to treat myself with respect and feed myself with wonderful healthy body and mind enhancing foods. I really do. I am no longer looking at a large, sorry sod in the mirror. I am looking at a strong, amazing, committed woman who has under so many different pressures come to be a much better version of myself. Have work hassles, mental issues, sick children and a busy travelling hubby and still lose weight (healthily) ????? You serious???? Yes, no more excuses, it really is just as easy to prepare a salad and meat and do a backyard workout as it is to feel guilty, eat crap and mope around. If you believe you can achieve. and that was what I kept telling myself, even when I fell down. Yes, I fell down, but just kept getting up and wiping myself down, committed to changing me for the better.

People are saying to me, wow, it must have been so hard and I answer very frankly, no. In fact, and I knew I would say this, once you believe in your cause and you are dedicated to changing and making things happen... a miraculous thing occurs.....It becomes easy. Serious??? It does! I love eating clean, training mean and loving me. Why wouldn't I??? I have improved my working relationships, my kids relationships with food and I am going to inspire others because I know you can have 100 excuses but in the end...YOU HAVE TO JUST DO IT!! Hooray for me, I did it and I am doing it and that is all there is to it!!

Interesting Times

Well here we are in what Michelle is calling the sprint to the finish but for me, I am only just beginning.  I have finally developed a positive attitude to eating right for my body and am being rewarded by a better body, a stronger mind and all the things that come with losing "nearly" 10kg.  I have had so many times where I thought I would just give up and enjoy being a larger version of myself but listening to others journeys and taking time to reflect has taught me so much about who I am and what I want from my life.  I want to put healthy things in my mouth and I looove feeling stronger and faster and moving with more vitality.   This can only happen if I am a smaller person in the healthy weight range. 

  The rebel in me is a force to be reckoned with and is rearing her ugly head everyday but if I can keep her at bay for even 95% of the time then I am being a pretty darn good version of me.  I reaallly have to work on killing that demon voice inside my head but for now she is quiet and I am not going to let her win.  Not anymore.  I accept her presence and just keep remembering that she is not ALL of me just that yucky part we humans all have. 

I am really loving this experience and I am pleased with my results.  I am not going to spend too much time reflecting on how I could have done better because I did well enough.  I blame evil me for the crappy days and the too much wine consumption but resolve to live another day trying to keep the good me alive.  Isn't it funny how we have these battles?  I sooooo wish it didn't have to be this way but for now I am managing it and that will have to do.  It is a lot easier than it was even 4 weeks ago so that is great.

So I am sprinting to the finish line with a hope that I can lose these 2kg which will see me hit 79 point something.  I am sure I can do it and looking at the two weeks I have planned the universe is positioning me in a great place to do it.  Fingers crossed.  I am so close to the 70's I can hear them calling me.  I'm coming.....

Moving on from failures

When you realise you have failed at something how do you move forward with gusto?  I have thought about my failures lately and can't help but feel a little hutched over and bumbed.  If you want to think about it, at any given time we are failing.  Right now I am failing to get the wash in, failing to tell the dog to be quiet and failing to speak postively.  Yes today I failed to count the calories I consumed at lunch, failed to go that extra mile in my training and failed to drink enough water.  WHAT A FAILURE I AM.  I tried to think what Buddha would do in this situation and what would he say and I came up with the thought... move on and live the next moment as if for the first time.  You are only what you are NOW in this moment, not the last moment and not the next moment but now.  Right now I am reflecting on something to help the nasty voice inside my head be quiet, I am not doing the washing because I am here now reflecting.  AHHH, it is all about this moment.  Right now I am failing to feed starving children, failing to be outside and failing to speak to a friend.  So what, all that has nothing to do with this moment and what you are doing now.  What does matter is what I am doing now and for what its worth, I like it.  It feel nice, it feels right and I think has helped me.  At least for this moment.