100 Days - can you believe it?

My post on a private Facebook group I am on...

Hi guys, I'm Kate 😊! 

Im a 44 year old single mum, teacher and all round crazy girl 😜. I don't post much but love this group. I'm excited about telling my story now that I'm finally celebrating 100 days sober. For me it was an arduous journey, many slip ups and loads of self discovery. It's also rather lonely. I wish I could yell from the roof tops but most people think I've been sober for over a year. I secretly drank a fair bit after that. It wasn't until June 25 that I finally said that's it I don't want to drink anymore and then - I never slipped up again. I made a huge commitment to myself and my daughter that I would never drink again and to celebrate that I inked myself. Check out my first tattoo 😅. If you are into hip sobriety you will know what the T's stand for. It's huge and I'm glad I did it. Teetotaller- Pretty extreme but very meaningful. I won't be sharing it though except for here and on my blog via This Naked Mind. Not sure what I'm going to say to my class but I'll make something up. Thanks for being in this group and Being a part of my share. Well done those winning and hugs and comfort to you gals that need it.

How many times am I going to fall?

Yep I will keep going, I am in agony, when am I going to stop this awful rollercoaster?

99% is a bitch - 100% is a breeze

I have just completed a 8 week challenge with pretty pathetic results. A few centimetres here and there but nothing to boast about.  Great work with Lani though as she has come so far and that is something to celebrate but that is not what I want to reflect on right now. Although she freakin' rocks and I am so proud of her.  I will leave that story for next time.

Some would say that change takes time and all those bull shit reassuring words but what it comes down to for me i think is my commitment factor.

Today I read this quote and it moved me. "99% is a bitch - 100% is a breeze." It's true. Kinda sorta almost making a real commitment to something is *way* harder than really making a 100% commitment. What do I need to make a nonnegotiable, 100% commitment to in your life? I have always been the sort of person who probably has a 90 percent commitment to things and I leave myself the painful and exhausting room of 10% to just make life as hard as I can.  My thought was at least I am 90 percent of the way.  Ha!  I thought I was doing it to go easy on myself but its not easy.  It makes you question yourself all the time and so much of what I do is annoying because I have to go through the rigmarole of talking myself into so many things.

I have noticed myself recently babbling on with my "tormenter" as Margie likes to refer to him as.  We meet in the evenings when I talk myself out of having a drink, every freakin night.  Its the nights that I simply say, no, you aren't having that and I leave it at that when I feel the most relaxed and find peace.  That is because I commit.  Can it be as easy and as hard as that?  Just be 100 percent committed.

Notice the thought,  commit 100 percent to your cause and the just Freakin do it, be it and live it.

Question becomes what does it actually look like?

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-1396/99-Is-a-Bitch-100-Is-a-Breeze.html

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellbeing/the-100-per-cent-rule-the-simple-advice-that-changed-my-life-20160825-gr16da.html

Making Infographics

Look what I did with an interesting website called Canva.   I should probably put my name on it. I am right into making infographics and trying to consolidate the thousands of things that roll around in my head.  I learn so much but often I find myself asking myself, what did I just read.  Or I do this course or that course and wonder what the hell am I getting out of it.  If I were to do an inventory of the current courses and workshops and coaching I have on the boiler at the moment you would all say its a bit much and you are probably right but I do need to make the most of it all. Maybe I will do an infographic about all the things I am doing at the moment.  Ha Ha.

I am particularly proud of this one, done on WORD

Another not so perfect day

Check out the bluebirds of happiness. :)

Exercise is Fun!!

So Lani and I are quitting sugar

COACHING WITH CHRIS

WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION?

I wrote this to Chris in response to the Optimal Living Seminar I went to on Feb 5. I was a little disheartened by the fact that I didn’t seem to have the motivation and drive to get into what I needed to do straight away. I guess for me the fact that I have quite a lot going on in my personal life doesn’t help. In reflection, I can see that I really need to bite off smaller pieces. So for this week in order to get up earlier I have committed to at least two wake up walks. A wake up walk is a 15 minute walk around the block at 5:30 to help get my motor running.

Here is what I wrote

I am so excited about the fact that you are giving participants an opportunity to meet with you to consolidate all the great gems we learnt at Saturdays workshop by helping them draw up a blue print. As the very lucky winner of the 3 months of coaching I can only begin to imagine how great this is going to be for my life. I am so grateful, excited and humbled about that win. As for my Sunday, Id like to say that I was revved up but things weren’t as great as I wish that could have been. It started great debriefing with my best friend Deborah who came along too and we were very excited about everything we had gained from the day. It just hasn’t been quick to translate to my very tumultuous life. I feel proud that I got up early and walked with her and I had some very good quality time with my daughter but the rest of the day was annoying. I was moody, i had great intentions, but I procrastinated and got bogged down in usual Sunday housework etc and I was buggered and did not end up doing anywhere near as much as I needed to so that my week would run smoothly. What was that about? I am sure there is a name for it.

I am feeling quite relieved that a good friend posted a video from Mel Robbins about motivation being garbage today. Very serendipitous I think. Thank bloody god I saw it as I now see that I am not a failure for not being all inspired straight away and changing everything all in one foul swoop. That was never going to happen and would be very unrealistic anyway, I know that. I loved what you guys shared but in my messy life it is going to be tricky to implement it, as I have quite a few habits to break. As Mel quotes I need to break it down to the little things and remember that it comes down to my little decisions, decision making is the key. Like the decision I made to sit here and type to you as opposed to collapsing exhausted on the couch. The decision to go to the gym tonight to support my daughter when all I really wanted to do was chill. Exercise is one of my non-negotiables but sometimes I tend to over do it. So lucky me. I get to chat to you, do my BP and map out a bit of direction. I can’t believe you want me to make a life projection of where Id like to be in 7 years. My life is filled with red herrings that I allow to get in my way of living my whole hearted life. Not anymore.

So there it is. I hope what I have said makes sense.

I look forward to the next instalment.

I won some Life Coaching!!

I was just saying to dad on our walk the other day that I need a coach to help me get my ducks in a row.  Mainly to get a hold on my health but also professionally.  I need someone to help me take action in my life and I need some serious accountability.  This has been such a wonderful win for me and I really would like to use it to help propel me into a new and inspiring direction.  What have I got to lose?

Thanks to #313FIT and #em.empowermums and #optimalliving
Yay me!

Getting a bit personal

Deborah and I are going to a workshop in a few days that promises to help us live a little more Optimally.  Sounds great and I am excited about what I will gain from it.  As I plod through this life I have got to take stock sometimes and stop being so hard on myself.  So as part of the course we were asked some pretty personal questions.

Here are my responses.

Q1: What are your 3 biggest day to day challenges?

1.  Managing my mental health whilst

2.  balancing being a good enough single mum and

3.  performing well in new job (back to classroom full-time primary school teaching)

Q2: As of today, where on a scale of 1 (Extremely Poor) to 10 (Amazing) do you rate each of the below areas of your life?

Emotional:   5

Spiritual:      5

Health:         7

Relationships:   4

Career:       8

Financial:     5

Q3: Have the above numbers improved or declined significantly in the past 6 months? If so which areas?

Most are relatively the same mainly due to my inertia and inability to move on in my life and feeling overwhelmed by everything I need to do to improve my life for myself and my kids.

Q4: What words would you use to describe yourself?

Energetic, Funny, Reflective, Intelligent and Intense

Q5: What are your long-term life goals?

I had to think a lot about this as I probably haven’t spent a lot of time defining my life time goals lately.  This is a big question now that my life has changed so much.  I did not see myself being 43 and divorced.  When I was in my 20’s I had vision, when I was in my 30’s I had it all figured out and I was on fire, my forties have been a mess. 

I feel like I am going back to thinking like I did in my 20’s but then I realize how far I have come. 

So new goals look like this

1.  Help and support my children grow into the best adults they can be

2.   meet someone to share my life with,

3.  buy a house (again)

4.  find work that supports me all many wondrous facets

5.   start up a business (inspirational retreat venue for creativity, movement and personal reflection),

Q6: What does a Happy & Successful life look like to you?

Off the top of me head ;)

Me living a gentle life that supports who I am (when I find her again), smiling and inspiring with a joyful whole hearted approach to all my physical, creative and intellectual endeavours.

Just keeping on

I can not believe I am here at the end of January still caught up IN MY crap.  Not able to completely let go of some shitty habits that are not serving me and still fighting myself to feel good about where I am at with my life.  One thing I have to realise is things are not THAT bad and I really need to spend more time feeling grateful for the good things in my life.  I think it will really help.

Speaks for itself really

The wheel keeps turning

So its January 2017 and yet again I am staring at an unhappy me.  I am not making choices that make me feel proud and I am so disheartened by my continued attempts to change.  I really want 2017 to be different and I am dedicated to it happening.  I see a future that is bright.

As the quote says, I keep crashing and burning and not winning.  Man I am going to do things differently this year.  This are going to be freakin' different.

I only have today, make it great.