So I have finally taken the plunge and pledged to stop drinking alcohol. I thought about saying for the rest of the year, for one year, for a month but have decided that I have to say forever because as long as I say I am quitting for this amount of time and there is still an inkling that I may ingest it again I am not going to be free of the demon that plagues so many of my daily thoughts.
I have got myself so far along the road to freeing myself from the clasps of that guy I call Boozy Brain but I still feel trapped. I still feel like I am victim to the voice in my head trying to convince that I can control the habit and I dont't have a problem. I love wine, it makes me happy but with this in mind I also know that you sometimes need to set free the things you love and if they come back they were yours and if they don't they never were. Seriously, wine is my friend. Who am I kidding. Each drop brings me closer to Cancer, and depletes my brain cells and increases my fat cells making me one dopey, fat sick woman. I want to meet my personal standards and by that I mean being the healthy person I know I can be. That does not mean ingesting a bottle a wine most nights and hiding away what had become destructive. Sure I am not at rock bottom, not even close really. My hubby and I get along pretty well, the kids barely know I drink, I get up everyday and get things done (yes I could do better), I run, I think, I work and I inspire but little do many know the hold that alcohol has on me.
Not anymore. I am choosing freedom and as I said in my written pledge. It is time to be true to me.
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