Do it anyway

It is nearing the end of February and progress has been slow but apparent in small ways. I've kept up my weights, lost some weigh and had a few days off wine. I have admitted I have some issues to attend to and am seeking help from professionals and I am on a mission to find my breakthrough.  I have been down this path before and even thought that this is it but I think I am realising that there is no "it" there is just here and now.  I have to learn some new skills to deal with all my unhelpful thoughts and stop trying to stop them, ignore them or critically judge them to the point of paralysis.  So thoughts like I am not going to set up the visual timetable because it won't work is the unhelpful thought, well, I need to say, thanks brain for that thought but I am okay, I think its worth a try and DO IT ANYWAY.... I like that notion, it resonates with me and could very well work.  For too long I have been trying to stop this or change that or deal with them and instead I need to just take what I have and move in the direction of what I truly want and what is useful for me to move forward.  I see, my brain says.  So no more am I going think I have to stop drinking, I am simply going to acknowledge the helpful factor of what I am doing and if its unhelpful I am going to move my actions or thoughts in the direction of what it is I truly value.  I want my family life to improve and I know I am part of the solution but how good will I be at moving this family in a positive direction if I continually hide behind my desire to mask or kill my feelings with wine.  I need perspective, clarity and the ability to observe what is happening in the dynamics and that will not happen as long as I am drinking.  I have put myself into the bottle and hid from what needs to be done.  Can this be the wake up call you need Kate.  Your family needs you and I know you are going to say that your drinking has created the mess we are in at the moment but STOP.  Is that a helpful thought?  NO!!!. What could you say anyway Do it anyway!!! Well lets just see where this takes me.

OMG - one of my favourite bands has a great song called DO IT ANYWAY!!