The REAL deal

Has the penny dropped yet?  I am such a thinker I have been trying to gather my thoughts enough to get myself into the perfect headspace to move away from my destructive and unhealthy habits YET AGAIN!  I am quite disturbed by the fact that I have been perpetually trying to do this for ever.  Never feeling satisfied about where I am, constantly berating myself for lacking whatever I need to have to be a wholesome, clean honourable person.  The voices in my head are yelling at me.  Come on stop this, find your peace! But at the same time they are tapping me on the shoulder and saying come on, you can still keep your pride whilst swilling down bottle after bottle of wine, or consuming too much peanut butter or ice cream or whatever other nasty I can find.  I am not proud of myself and I am not liking myself and if I was being really honest I am on a downhill slope headed to Shit Town.  I have to get to a place where I am no longer tormenting myself and I am smiling and waving because I am proud of what I am doing and what I have done.  So here I go again going down the only road I have ever known but this time I am going to fly.  It all begins right here, right now.  

Inside each of us, there’s a state of mind where being good to ourselves, others, and the planet is effortless. Don’t try to do good or be good. Just find that state of mind, and it’s all smooth flying from there.

So off I go in search of that state of mind.  It all starts here and now...you have everything you need right now so, fly away.