Chocolate, how I love thee

So I started thinking about how much Chocolate and Peanut butter have been helping me lately but I thought I would also share my battle with Boozy Brain.  Oh tonight I heard him begging and trying every angle.  Screw you Boozy Brain.  I did not budge, I am steadfast on this Alcohol Free(AF) mission.  I am feeling my feelings and I am going to get through this tumultuous time AF.  This is a big test for me but I know I will be letting myself and my family down if I crumble and drink.  I have just watched my hubby deal with his pain by drinking hard tonight and it only makes me feel stronger. It strengthened my resolve to stay sober and as in control as possible given the circumstances.   We are dealing with a pretty sad situation at the moment as my son has got himself into a lot of trouble doing some very serious stuff, we are so befuddled and are feeling so hopeless.  This is our Reality Slap.  It is so painful but I am feeling it all.  The best part is that I am dealing with it not drinking it away.   I do not want to run away (well I kinda do, but I know I can't hide from this) but I am seeing things with such clarity.  I know things have to change and I am such a better me, ready and able to do what needs to be done.  My guy is only 11 and I so hope that I can pull him up from this and move with him in a better direction.  I will not put the past in front of me and revel in my failures.  I am here and this is where I am and I am on a mission to make a better life for us.  For the first time in a while I am proud of me and I KNOW it will only get better from here.  Thank you to chocolate for attempting to give me a little solace in these crazy times.