Pick yourself up and say TA DA!!!

TA DA!!!

So things aren't going as well for me today but tomorrow is a new day.  I noticed I have a few triggers that entice me to want to drink that I need to work through.  1. Dealing with my tax stuff is sickening stuff, enough to drive a woman to drink.  I have made so many silly mistakes and done so many things wrong, it is such a slap in the face. Breathe.  2.  When things aren't going so well for Manda (my sister) and instead of helping her I end up pissing her off because she has a fragmented sense of reality, it REALLY effects me.  I have copped serious text abuse today and I feel so beaten up, I am sure wine could console me.  However, today I am ready to deal with the vunerability, I took some Valium which means I can't have wine and I also have to drive and pick Lani up at 8.  I am going to get through this today. As soon as I hit a challenge things go down hill and I am not coping so well with how great I am feeling and have started to lean towards a more high and erratic disposition.  I so want to calm it with wine and I confess that last night I tried, it didn't work so I am back to reminding myself that wine is not going to help, I will beat this.  I will be a better me without wine.  I will.  I just wish I could see some more evidence.  I have not dealt well with the stresses my sister threw at me over the past 24 hours and have cried countless times.  What is it with all this crying.  I know things are a little challenging and I am feeling a little lonely but come on.  Pull yourself together.

Yep, I slipped on the Ice last night but I will get up!